The morning after I had a big setback, my best friend asked me one question to improve myself.
I mentioned in my last blog post that attitude is one key to overcoming our adversity, another key is surrounding ourselves with people who push us to become better.
Here is that morning conversation with my best friend.
I’m sitting at my desk, sipping my coffee, lost in thought, when my rumbling phone brings me back to reality.
My best friend’s calling.
The USA Team Trials for para-surfing were yesterday. As I rewind the event in my head, reviewing every decision, every movement, replaying those scenarios like a broken record; my frustration gets louder in the background. The reality didn’t meet my expectations at the trials, and my best friend feels it.
In the spring I had a stress fracture in my tailbone that grinded my daily life to a halt. Work, training, everything stopped because I couldn’t move. What should’ve been three months of preparation is crammed into three weeks before the USA trials.
It was a disaster, I missed catchable waves while getting smashed by the water simultaneously. I was off the pace. I didn’t finish high enough to automatically qualify, so now my place on the team is being decided by a committee.
Sucks. Hard.
Asking one question
Our conversation is direct. Necessary. Full of hard-hitting accountability.
My best friend asks
“What are you NOT doing to improve yourself?”
A challenge for me to give that extra percentage of needed effort when I’m not at my best.
I remember something I saw on tiktok a few days earlier: A certified deep water training class called Deep End Fitness with highly trained able-bodied professionals.
“You’re ready for the next step, do it.”
I’m energized by those words.
Two days later, I joined my first class of Deep End Fitness. The only disabled person amongst a group of highly trained abled-bodied professionals.
The details matter
Deep End Fitness becomes one big piece of my puzzle to improve.
But what tricky little detail am I missing? This question keeps rattling in my cranium. As our conversation continues, my best friend asks one question.
“What are you NOT doing to improve yourself?”
I find a little detail in my strength training, I’m holding myself back because of a traumatic training incident from my past. I can’t shake the fear of a bar bashing my head in, because I’m doubting my own physical strength.
My best friend hears my doubt, he responds:
“I know your strength progression, you’re much stronger than you think. You know how to handle weight, set your safety on the smith machine, and push yourself.”
He is correct and it pisses me off. The little detail is my self-doubt.
Every gym session becomes a smith machine day, every set, every minute, I’m racking or lifting weighted plates on/off a bar developing body-confidence. My posture, my balance with my disability slowly improves. I become stronger on the waves and in the gym.
In every bead of sweat from each successful session, my self-doubt drips away.
Finding the little details removes the blinder of ego. Details help me act when my next step is more grey than black and white.
What is the little detail you’re missing?
My best friend pushed me to find the details in my life. Your support network could help solve your problem.
Good people push us
“What are you NOT doing to improve yourself?”
This one question taught me to find answers to problems I can’t see from my mind’s eye, pushing me to improve myself.
I’m blessed to have good people in my life. They ask me to be/do better in every aspect. They help when I’m in need. Now I’m paying it forward as much as I can.
Who challenges you to improve? If you’ve found them, keep them close. If not, keep searching for those people that will push you towards your success.
For now, I’ll be that person. I’m improving myself. You can too.
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